Who wrote the brave little toaster Lampy

Blog Arnscht

We had a new Federal President elected, the public sympathy was almost like a pig. But the process also shows that everyone in the office sees what is otherwise lacking in life. A substitute emperor, a real opposition, a better constitutional court or a Lena of politics. The landlord in the Berlin Palace (there is already one) is simply the toaster that opens the buffet at state receptions. And the Wulff is probably not that bad at all.

Why the rush to elect the Federal President? Couldn't you have waited until after the World Cup when there was probably nothing more to report for the media? You couldn't. Because long ago, when it was still boiling in Bellevue Palace, the reception of the Federal President for the deserving people had been scheduled for the Friday at the end of this memorable election week. The invitations were long gone when Horst threw them out. And there was a risk that the party on Friday would have to do without an opening toast. A reception at the Federal President without a Federal President as a toaster?

So someone had to be chosen quickly, who was just there, not yet on vacation and to some extent suitable for a mother-in-law. That's why the nice grandma and the funny songwriter dropped out of the three-stage casting early, and there were mother-in-law recalls only for Wulff and Gauck. And in the end the better mother-in-law guy just won.

Of course you shouldn't see it that way, because of dignity. The predecessor felt that this was the only right to exist, which ultimately earned him the self-imposed retreat. Because if we make fun of the Chancellor and the rest of the world, there must be someone who, as a dignity incarnate, sits enthroned above everything, like monarchs.

It was a little longer ago with the Kaiser in Germany, but even afterwards the bad habit persisted in the country of wanting to pay homage to an infallible. At least until 1989 in part of the republic. But you could also think about the thesis, whether there would have been reunification without a chancellor who already had something of the dear God and also looked like Buddha.

Does anyone still remember who was the Federal President at the time of the fall? Actually a very honored man, but somehow nobody connects him with the reunification.

When it comes to the leading role of the Buprä, a jerking Bavarian must always serve for this. But do you really have to hold up a whole castle full of people just so that one of them holds such pseudo-lecture without consequences? Isn't it enough that we have Hans-Ulrich Jörges? Most of the people who would have preferred to see Gauck as lord of the castle somehow wished for a nagging old man on the muppet show balcony who regularly spits into the soup of the chancellor (no, one should avoid the cheap metaphor offered here) . Would that be beneficial to the state? At most, it reinforces the opposition. But then you should have taken one from the FDP.

Lena might not have been bad. They love everyone, they have visions for the euro and they know how to hold back when it comes down to it. But there is now the protection of minors again: People under 40 are not allowed to do the Buprä backbreaking job for humanitarian reasons. But at least you could see her as a kingmaker: no sooner had Merkel seen Lena standing next to Christian at Hannover Airport International on television than she called the country's father of the winner.

No, Wulff is absolutely the right choice for the Federal President, as the Federal Republic has put together as an office. Someone who cuts a fine figure at receptions, who knows someone, who can check laws, who does not address Africans as “dear negroes” and who has a pretty wife who can come up with all kinds of charitable things. Who makes mothers-in-law rave and can cut ligaments without having a finger in between. We didn't want more.

A brave little toaster that won't burn anything.

Federal President Christian Wulff Joachim Gauck