What does spoettischer mouth mean?

Chapter I.

To hell and back

translator: Janine Heistmann

"Mommy, I'm hungry!" I say and look for her. But mommy's not here.

"Mommy! Mommy! ”Mommy is in the bedroom. I go to the door. I am not allowed to open it when it is closed. But i'm so hungry The door is very dirty. There are dirt stains everywhere. I reach for the doorknob. There is noise in the room. Mommy is crying. Is she hurt? The man is here. I can't go into the bedroom when the man is here. But i'm so hungry I slowly open the door. I peek inside. Mommy leans over the small bed. She's holding onto the metal. She is naked. The bad man is behind mommy. He's not wearing a shirt, but he's wearing pants. I only see his back. He pushes Mommy. Mommy is crying. "Not! You're welcome! Stop it!" she says.

"You belong to Me! If I want your pussy, I'll get it too, you whore! "

“The child is in the apartment, please!” She continues. Oh, I am the kid.

"Mommy," I say, scared. "I'm hungry …"

Mommy screams louder. "Jesus Christ!" Mommy sounds scared. “Please let me go! My child… ”she says in a petty and frightened voice.

He pulls his belt out of the loops of his pants and hits Mommy with it very quickly. Mommy screams. He's so angry. He turns to me and his pull man is hanging out. I run to the kitchen. I have nowhere to hide. I hide under the sink. He finds me. My little hands are shaking. I cover my face with my hands. Maybe then he won't see me. But he always sees me. He grabs my elbow and pulls me out of the closet. My arm scratched. I bump my head on the kitchen cabinet. I'm too scared to scream. He hits me harder when I scream. If I don't give a peep, maybe he's not doing that great.

"You cost me my fun, you little piece of shit!" He pulls on me and turns me around. He pulls down my pants and keeps hitting me. It hurts.

"Mommy!" I scream. "Mommy, ouch! Help me mommy! " He remembers his belt in mommy's room. He gets up and pulls me by my arm into Mommy's room. He throws me on the bed. He takes the belt and hits me with it. I scream. It hurts so bad! Mommy curls up on the floor. When I scream, she cries even more. But Mommy isn't coming to stop him. She just cries even louder. He throws me on the floor. He lifts his big foot. Then he kicks me. I roll along the floor. Finally the wall stops me. I cry softly. I cover my mouth to suppress the sound.

"The bitch and her damn bastard!" He yells. He turns around. I hear him walking away. I am afraid to look. Is he gone? Everything hurts me I'm bleeding a little on my head. Mommy is crawling slowly. She reaches for the old t-shirt on the floor and puts it on. Mommy's hands are shaking. She doesn't look at me She crawls into the bathroom. I watch Mommy and cry softly to myself. She comes back from the bathroom. Mommy's eyes are big, red, and scared. She is holding a small bottle. Mommy won't look at me. She goes into the kitchen. I walk slowly behind. She turns on the tap. Then she fills the dirty mug with water. She sits down on the couch and is still shaking. Tears stream down her cheeks, but she doesn't make a sound. Only tears.

Mommy opens the bottle. She shakes them. She looks at them. She looks at me with her sad eyes. She cries even more. She doesn't smile. She holds the bottle to her mouth. Drink them up. She drinks the water. I'm hungry too, Mommy, I guess. But I won't say anything. Mommy is sad. She is lying on the couch.

“Come here, Christian,” she says. I am going to her.

"Lie down next to Mommy," says Mommy. I climb on the sofa. I lie down next to her. She's holding me tight I'm hungry. But mommy is holding me tight. Better if she hold me tight Mommy's eyes cry even more. She still doesn't make a sound. She kisses my head.

“Farewell, Christian,” she says. Mommy is tired. She wants to sleep. "Good night, Mommy," I say. We both sleep.

 ****❦ ♡ ❧*****

I wake up. I shake Mommy. It's dark outside.

"Mommy, I'm still hungry," I say. But she doesn't wake up.

Next to her is this little bottle. She ate it today. There is no lid on it. I pick it up. Something rattles in it. A toy? It's small. Something to eat! I'm so hungry! I drop the little food from the bottle on my hand. It's not round. Maybe I can eat it. It's mommy's food, but maybe mommy doesn't care. I'm so hungry. I put it in my mouth and chew. It tastes disgusting, it's bitter. I spit it out.

"Mommy! I'm thirsty! ”But, Mommy is too tired and she won't move. I'm walking on the sticky green carpet. I am going to the kitchen. I push the chair in front of the sink. I am thirsty and my mouth is dry. There's a dirty mug in the sink. It's sticky and has brown spots. I fill in the water from the tap and drink. Uh!

I'm going back to sleep with Mommy. Maybe she'll make me something to eat when she wakes up. Mommy is cold. I have my blanket. I cover them up. I rest my head on Mommy's arm. "My belly hurts, Mommy ..." I cry. I'm so hungry. My tears run on Mommy's shirt.

“Can I have something to eat when you wake up, Mommy? Please, Mommy. "

I cry and cry but mommy can't hear me.

I'm sitting bolt upright in bed when I am woken up by my own screams. I look around. It's dark, but the Seattle light shines through my floor-to-ceiling windows. I see the Space Needle in the distance. Damn it! My nightmares are back.


Pathetic, sleepless nights will now be with me again. I get up. The Blanik L23 is on my bedside table. I built late into the night. I stroke over it. A gift from my first love. The first love that I put in the sand so terribly yesterday! How did we manage to screw everything up in such a short time? We wanted to sleep together on the piano. She hates me ... The very thought of it takes my breath away and I bring another choking sound out of my throat. I look at the note she left.

Always on My Mind by Michael Buble