How to subdue your wife

The allure of submission - three men, three points of view?

What is the attraction of submitting to a woman sexually? A question I often hear when outsiders talk about the subject of "BDSM". In an interview with three very different but in their own way submissive men, I tried to find an answer.

Harald, Stefan and Fabian - all three like to play the submissive role and agreed to describe this charm from their point of view.

Fabian makes the start. He works in the social field and has to play a dominant role due to his job. He is predominantly submissive and slightly masochistic.

"Fabian, what is the attraction for you to sexually submit to a woman?"

“For me, the attraction is to be controlled. In a way that only a woman can control me. A man is driven by instincts, which is also his greatest weak point. If the man allows this basic instinct to be controlled by a woman, the power imbalance becomes extremely visible and palpable. The thought that a “weak” woman subdues me, for example by completely determining my sexuality, turns me on. I find it sexually extremely arousing, which is why I like to be chaste for a long time. "

"Would you say that abstinence increases your sexual desire?"

"Absolutely. The mere fact that I no longer have control over my sexuality leads to an extreme increase in pleasure for me. I experience SM sessions much more intensely if I have been kept chaste for a few days beforehand. The longer the period in which I am not allowed to jerk off or have an orgasm, the greater my horniness and I can perceive SM experiences much more intensely. "

The second man in the group is Harald. I would describe his inclinations as predominantly submissive. He feels pain less as pleasure, but much more as a means of pressure to bring him even deeper into the submissive posture.

“Harald, you like to submit to a dominant woman sexually. How did it come about and what is the attraction for you? "

“In the beginning there were no thoughts at all in this direction. It wasn't until the time when the “normal” gradually became routine that I began to worry. There had to be more than just conventional sex. Then, together with my partner, I started trying out different toys. Initially dildos, primarily for her, later also toys such as anal plugs, strap-on and KG (chastity belt) for me. At some point, toys alone weren't enough for me either. We started with mutual bondage games. I noticed immediately that the submissive side exerts a great attraction on me. Being tied up or restrained gave me a special kick. Especially in combination with various toys. "

"How did your partner react to your request to try something new?"

“At first she didn't really like it. I had to do some persuasion until the toys were approved for purchase. But that has changed over time and she has now found herself enjoying it. "

"What is the attraction of female dominance for you?"

“What appeals to me is being at the mercy. That she says where to go and what is happening to me. Feminization or the threat of being climbed by a man one day act like a fire accelerator. They trigger an even stronger excitement in me and I submit even further. For me, submission is probably a way to escape everyday life, to have to do what the woman says and asks. Simply to be degraded to a toy yourself. To be at the mercy of the woman, not knowing what she's up to when, what she's up for and implementing it accordingly, that's what makes me so attractive. "

Last but not least, there is Stefan. He's a switcher and loves sex in all possible ways. Although he is not particularly submissive, he submits to me with full devotion.

“Stefan, you are a switcher. In contrast to the previous speakers, you just as much enjoy subjugating women in the game according to your wishes. But you still allow yourself to be dominated by a woman. What is the attraction for you to sexually submit to a woman? "

“I have often asked myself what exactly could be the attraction of submitting to a woman. To be honest, I still haven't found a really satisfying answer for myself. Certainly the reasons for this are not the same for every man. Personally, I am not indifferent to everyday life and only find this stimulus arousing in a sexual game. So I think that for me it mainly has to do with the sexual role models of men and women. "

"What do these role models look like for you?"

“As a man you are used to having to conquer a woman. The classic role model sees the man in a very active role. As a rule, a “man” has to make himself interesting for a woman, arouse her passion, “get her around”. However, if the woman takes on the dominant role, all of this falls away. The man becomes the woman's play object and does not have to worry about pleasing. It just has to work. The woman takes what she wants and takes care of your own pleasure. Thus, as a man, you can completely let yourself go, be passive and let yourself be surprised by what happens to him. This break from the classic role model is a very exciting experience, especially of course with a play partner whom you trust 100%. "

My conclusion: Three men who live out their submissive streak in different ways, but basically have one thing in common: They enjoy relinquishing control to the woman, submitting themselves in order to be available to YOU ​​as an object of pleasure. A very nice thought from the point of view of the dominant role ...