Hey chicken, how it hang on jokes

Chicken jokes

The funniest chicken jokes

  • The farmer feeds his chickens. A hen is running around the corner, chased by the rooster. The rooster, already about to pounce on the chicken with relish, suddenly notices the corn kernels that have been scattered, abandons his plan and rushes on the feed. Sighs the farmer: "God grant that I'm never so hungry!"

  • The teacher at the school has developed a new system for getting the students to study over the weekend. Friday, last lesson: "Dear students. If you can answer a question I have asked on Monday, you will get two days off." The children spend the whole weekend studying. Monday, first lesson: "Well, my question: How many trees are there in the Black Forest?" Embarrassed silence. Nobody knows. The following Friday, last lesson: "Dear students. Anyone who can answer a question I have asked on Monday will get two days off." Everyone learns, just not Klaus. He tinkers. He takes two chicken eggs from the refrigerator, glues them together artistically, paints them black, takes them to school on Mondays and puts them on the teacher's desk. The teacher enters the class, her gaze falls immediately on the teacher's desk: "Well? Who is the artist with the two black eggs?" Klaus jumps up and calls out: "Sammy Davis junior. Bye by Wednesday."

  • A farmer buys Viagra. Since he doesn't really trust the drug, he first feeds it to his rooster. He pecks it greedily, nothing happens for an hour. But then it starts: First the rooster nails all the chickens, then the goats, the sheep, then the chickens again. Then he flutters over to the neighboring yard, there the same game takes place again. Suddenly, however, it knocks the rooster off his feet, he tips over, lies on the ground and no longer moves. The farmer is worried: "Poor rooster host, you are probably overworked" The rooster opens one eye, points upwards with one wing and whispers: "Pst, farmer up there 'N monkey-sharp lammergeier"

  • A stockbroker explains the stock market to his son: "It's like being on a farm. You buy a rooster and a chicken, they lay eggs. The eggs become chickens and roosters, lay eggs again - and you have a large, valuable herd of chickens. " "As simple as that?" "Yes. Only now is a storm coming and washing everything away." "You should have bought ducks"

  • A man goes into town to buy a live chicken. When he's done that, he suddenly feels like going to the cinema. Since he is afraid that he will not get in with the chicken, he simply stuffs it under his coat. The movie starts. Next to him, an older woman begins to whisper to her husband. Woman: "You Erwin, the man next to me has his tail hanging out." Husband: "Yes, but Erna, that's not the first cock you see in your life." Woman: "Yes, not that, but this one eats my popcorn."

  • There is a circus in the village. One morning the zebra escaped. It comes to a farm and asks the chicken: "What are you doing here?" "I lay the eggs, says the chicken." He comes to the pig, the same question. The pig replies: "I am made into sausage and ham." The cow says it is giving the milk and the horse says it is there to pull. There's a stallion in the corner, he's big and strong. Asks the zebra: "Well, stallion, what are you there for?" Says the stallion: "Take off your strange pajamas, then I'll show you."

  • A blonde rammed another vehicle with her car. The driver yells: "You stupid chicken. Did you even take a driving test?" The blonde hisses back: "Definitely more often than she does."

  • Asks the waiter, "What did you have?" Answer: "Only the cook knows that. But I ordered a chicken."

  • Hot summer day, the air shimmers, everything is quiet in the chicken yard, no poultry, nothing outside, everything is in the shade, it is so hot. Suddenly there is a crash, the chicken blow is torn open, the rooster runs out, races across the chicken yard and screams: "I was wrong - I was wrong." Immediately afterwards the door opens again, waddles a duck out and says: "It doesn't matter - it doesn't matter."

  • In a chicken yard. The rooster is already old, so the farmer decides to fetch a young rooster to take care of the chicks. The young rooster is placed in the enclosure. The old rooster goes up to him and speaks to him: "I know, in a fight I have no chance against you. I'll leave the hens to you, but at least let me have my favorite hen." "No," replies the cockerel, "if I do, I want all the hens too." The old rooster makes a suggestion: "We're going to race. If I win, you'll let me have my favorite hen. If you win, you can have them all. But since I'm no longer the youngest, please give me a head start." The young rooster agrees. The old rooster running loose. Two seconds later the young rooster starts running, when it has almost caught up with the old rooster, there is a bang. The young rooster falls dead. The farmer reloads his shotgun and thinks: "Shit, already the third gay rooster this week."

  • A man comes to the psychiatrist and says, "Doctor, my brother is crazy he thinks he's a chicken" Doctor: "Why don't you take him to the madhouse?" Then the man: "I would like that, but I need the eggs."

  • A woman comes to the egg seller and says: "I would like 10 eggs." But she gets 10 frog eggs. The next day she comes into the shop very indignant: "You cheater, there was nothing in the eggs." Then the seller goes into the chicken coop: "Okay, which one of you takes the pill?"

  • Teacher asks: "What does the chicken give us?" Eggs. "A cow?" Milk. "A goat?" Homework.

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